![]() ![]() i called my boyfriend crying and he came home and held me while i cried. i’ve never ever thrown or smashed something before, but sometimes feel like i’ve wanted to, this time it was just too much i feel. i was banging my fists against the wall, i threw 2 vases at the wall, as well a bunch of other objects that put a hole in the wall. i was absolutely furious that i felt like i couldn’t start my assignment, and i was screaming why can’t i just be normal. as soon as he left i started screaming and crying. my boyfriend said he was going to his parents house to give me some space as he could see i was getting worked up. ![]() i was also starving at the time, but because i’m too indecisive when it comes to meals i decided to just not eat. i was on my laptop and it’s like i was fighting with my brain to start researching, but it just felt like too much. I knew i couldn’t write it overnight like i usually do, because of all the components, so i was trying to get it started a couple days earlier but i felt like i physically couldn’t. I had a really big essay to write that had 4 components which i’ve never had to do before. I had 2 months off of uni, in those 2 months i was diagnosed with adhd so this was my first time back since then. I put myself down a lot when it comes to uni and i’ve always told myself i’m “dumb” although i’m not. I was having a hard time with my uni assignment the other week. This has been on my mind for a while and since my therapy appointment is a couple weeks away i just need to post it here. ![]()
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